In order to understand and achieve effective communication, we need to know the how and why of behavior. We need to observe very well, to listen very deeply, to decode words, meanings, to identify principles and values. So we will be able to communicate in depth and substance with others.
Communication is the process by which an A’ (human or group) transmitter transfers information, thoughts, ideas or feelings to a B’ (human or group) receiver in order to act on it in a way that causes it to develop ideas, acts or feelings and ultimately affect his or her condition and behavior. (Bourantas, 1992).
Behavior is the result of learning, according to John Locke, when a man is born he is like an unwritten map (tabula rasa), growing up he learns to react to his environment, thus shaping his behavior and personality.
According to the humanist psychologist A. Maslow, (1943), our actions are driven by incentives to meet specific needs. Maslow first introduced the concept of the hierarchy of human needs indicating that people are primarily mobilized to meet the most basic needs before they meet other more complex needs. Albert Bandura referred to mental processes as a key factor in the formation of behavior. He argued that human behavior is not only a reaction to external stimuli but always precedes a cognitive process at a cognitive level that determines it.
Watson, who is also considered as “father of behaviorism,” studied the process of learning specific emotional reactions and argued that man is born with some innate behaviors that are automatically activated and displayed when exposed to specific stimuli.
The basic conviction of S. Freud’s theory is that human behavior is determined by unconscious processes, such as desires, fears or beliefs, which determine human behavior without the person being aware of their existence. He also reports that there are some inherent impulses in humans, which are the same as animals, such as sex and aggression, which drive him into a constant conflict with the society that tries to control them.
According to Medical Science it is now accepted that human behavior, apart from psychological factors, is shaped by the influence of social factors that are related to the social order and the position of the individual in the social hierarchy as well as to the social environment.
HOW THE PEOPLE ARE CONDUCTED
Behavior is generated by the interaction of the following domains.
Beliefs and Values: Values identify right and wrong, meaningful and insignificant, appropriate and unsuitable as well as priorities. They affect our behavior, our priorities and our relationships. Beliefs – Beliefs are assumptions or certainties that a person accepts as true about people, thoughts or things. Beliefs, principles and perceptions lead the actions of people and groups.
EMOTION: According to Goleman, (2001), emotion is defined as anything a person feels when assessing an event in a specific way and usually leads to changes in the human organism or behavior. So, all feelings are essentially inducements for action. So emotions lead to acts that we can perceive.
INTELLECTUAL STRATEGIES: The way of thinking about our lives at both strategic and everyday level. That is, thinking and acting accordingly each time. What is our perception of the world, us, our work, our relationships and our worldview?
IDENTITY: It is the subjective perception we have of ourselves. Who we feel we are. From identity, the beliefs of the individual are formed, that is, his firm belief.
HUMAN BEHAVIOR CHARTER (based on neurological NPL programming). Neuro-lingual programming is an interpersonal communication model applied to psychotherapy and organizations / businesses and focuses primarily on the study of successful behavioral patterns and the way in which these patterns are motivated.
METHODS OF OBSERVATION OF BEHAVIOR
If one wants, he can follow the weekly behavioral observation method in different circumstances and emotional load: anger, love, joy, regret, fear, sadness to try to analyze his behavior, following a questioning process, according to the following model:
• What happened;
• Why did I work so?
• What are my assumptions, interpretations or thoughts about what’s going on?
• What are my feelings about what’s happening?
• What is happening here that I may not be able to understand?
• What do my senses tell me about the situation? That is, what I see, I hear, smell …
• Why do I feel eg: anger or fear?
• If I could change something, what would that be?
• How can I get rid of negative emotions and keep only the positive ones?
• Is someone else responsible for what I feel?
• Is my responsibility clear to me or is another one coming in?
• What can I do? …
During the observation process, focus on what you experience within yourself, analyze what you feel. Try to recognize the feeling as well as the thoughts and the nonsense traps that were related to this feeling. Try to learn from the experience, analyzing the situations after they are finished. Ask yourself, what can I learn to commit to a more helpful and functional response in the future? For example, can I practice feelings and thoughts without judging or trying to change? According to researchers, emotion is a complex subjective conscious experience (a combination of mental states, psychosomatic expressions and biological body reactions).
You may notice that we often get angry with ourselves because we feel angry or sorry for ourselves because we were sorry. You may consider it impossible to allow yourself to experience difficult emotions. This treatment always increases the intensity of negative emotion. Is it better to accept it, whatever it is? Is it a way of understanding something that will help us feel better in the future?
By observing and analyzing we see that behavior is definitely linked to the map of our mind. Beliefs (beliefs, values, perceptions), emotions and spiritual strategies, mental processes, needs and satisfaction, interact (feed and feed) to determine the outcome of our behavior (behavior map).
Some behaviors are attributed to changes that have occurred in spirituality. Although in an older age it is difficult to change the spirituality of a person, it is recognized that the formation of spirituality begins with birth, and it develops slowly throughout life. When our spirituality changes, our identity, our beliefs, our abilities and our behavior change at the same time.
An example of the impact of spirituality on our behavior: “I believe that the world does not belong to me, but belongs to the generations to come… I believe I am the lucky heir of life and I have to protect it… I believe that all people have equal rights to basic goods such as water and food… I feel the need to help other people to make a better humanity and do it wherever and whenever I can … ”
Behavioral and psychoanalytic theories define human behavior as predetermined, but for different reasons, each. Behavioral because of the decisive participation of the environment, and the psychoanalytic reason of underground unconscious impulses. In general, however, we can say that no vision is perceptible in its view, since they all accept that human behavior is affected by many factors that may be inherent, predetermined, or environmental. According to (P. Eatzlawick, J. Bavelas, D. Jackson et al.), If we accept that every behavior in an interaction state has the value of a message, that is communication, it follows that no matter how much one tries, we can’t fail to communicate.
Lefteris Kakavoulis, MBA, Coach AC
